Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Does It Matter, Anyway?

We agree that a lot of things do matter in life...what we do not realize is that there are a few other things, or perhaps many other things, depending on our standpoints, which do not matter so much or at all.
The reason it is important to differentiate appropriately is to avoid certain conversations, situations, mindsets, etc, which could put you in very awkward positions or undermine your self-worth.
Therefore, take a cue from the following:

1.) You know that no matter what you say or do, people will always have their opinions about it...for compliment or for ridicule. Why then do you dress to impress the next person, who may not even notice you? One thing you should remember is that people (even renowned 'fashionistas') usually have different views about a particular 'Fashion Police' on E! and you can agree. Some of us while trying to standout, end up masquerading and feeling very uncomfortable. You wear very high stakes you can barely walk on, thus either taking baby steps or walking like a skeleton and probably
falling and spraining your ankles; you wear long weaves that make you sweaty and take a toll on your neck; you fix lashes that you know you feel like pulling off each time your hand touches your face; you bleach your body and a few weeks later, you start applying Petroleum Jelly because you may have realized that some parts of your body have become as bright as the sun and others, as dark as night...the fanta and coke analogy...LOL. Crazy indeed! Remember that whatever you put on, however you look, will always attract differing views; my point being: wear what feels right to you, do what feels right to you, as long as it is decent within reason; think it through to avoid regrets later. Now, the definition of decency is also very controversial but as long as it makes you comfortable, is appropriate for the occasion and you do not appear as nudity personified, wear it! Decency is a moral and cultural phenomenon which can provoke sentiments from the vast majority, so it will be a discussion for another day. 

2.) Why do you fake mannerisms and behaviours just to fit into someone else's reality? Some people in an attempt to speak proper 'Oral English' end up being utterly ridiculous and disgusting, pronouncing words inappropriately. Take for instance, pronouncing 'matter' as 'mather', 'what' as 'whath', etc. On a personal note, such pronunciations make me want to literally puke...Please, stop! I mean, does it really matter that you call it brother (broda), instead of 'bruva'? If you must be truly phonetic, get a dictionary and learn English pronunciations adequately or get an education in Linguistics.
Most annoying is what some of my fellow ladies go through in order to impress their suitors. You know in your very 'heart of hearts' that you do not like Vegetable soup but because he likes it, you claim it has been your only favourite soup even while you were in the womb (then after eating it, the loo becomes your lounge for the day). You know you hate washing with your hands but you claim you are a laundry woman and instead of using the washing machine, you use your hand because you are indeed homely...when your hands eventually turn to sandpaper, he will go in search of soft-palmed ladies, then you will become a handy-woman and a house-keeper; Don't get me wrong - I am only saying: be real. You know you do not like the stench of cigarette and your doctor has warned you against it, but because you know his slogan is 'cigar over bitches', you claim that the stench of cigarette is the only scent you love to wake up to and even go ahead to grab a few sticks (then when he's not looking, you walk out to breathe fresh air)...God help you if you have Chronic Asthma. He slaps and batters you, you know it's killing you inside but you tell him and your friends that you know he beats you because he loves you and his magical hands help steer you into consciousness when you go astray...I hope one day, you can return from the unconsciousness that his hands will inflict on you. Therefore, before you do any of these, ask yourself: does it matter that I do not love any of these? Point is: if he loves you, he will stick and if he does not, even if you agree that his fart is the loveliest designer perfume there is, or that his snort is the song that your heart beats to, he will still dump you and move on. What you do not like, mention it from the start because nowadays, marriage is like being in an exam hall where what you deliver is what you have prepared and when you realize you did not practice enough, you discover that there is often nothing you can do except you walk out of the hall and perhaps, retake the exam with another set next time. Of course, marriage thrives on compromise but there are some things you know you cannot live with. There are no short-cuts and what you accept from the start, you cannot reject later, that would be a breach of contract, as Lawyers would say. The reason many marriages fail nowadays is because expectation (falsely given) usually exceeds actual outcome, thereby causing what Economists would call 'disequilibrium' and what Sociologists would call 'Social disorganization'....heheheheee... #Enoughsaid

3.) Why do you agree to render favours that are most inconveniencing to you, especially not out of sincere willingness to help, rather to impress? You know you will be grumbling in your spirit while doing it, so why torture yourself? Do these things really matter, given that people will always say what they wish? If you are too kind, you'll be called names such as 'goody-goody', 'goody-bag', 'holy-holy', etc. Of course if you do not render help, you will be tagged the devil. So, does it really matter if you say 'no' sincerely to a request you know you cannot handle? It would only make you honourable. Of course it is always good to render help but do not forget that you are human and cannot do everything; if you will be grumbling while doing it or afterwards, please do not accept it. If there is anyone we should strive to impress, that person should be God. And if you believe in God, you know that God is interested in your inner thoughts, rather than your outward behaviour. So, what will it profit a man or a woman to go through stress, angrily render a favour, get called a 'goody-goody' by even the person helped and still be seen by God as paying lip-service? That would be a monumental failure. Advise yourself!

In the long run, you will discover that the only thing that really matters is being true to yourself, standing up for what you believe in, creating your own reality and walking in your own shadows. 

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