Monday, 8 October 2012

First they really matter?

First impression matters a lot....this is a very popular saying. What it simply means is that the attitude you put up at a first meeting with an acquaintance will determine the way he or she will perceive you throughout the relationship. It also implies that the attitude you see a peron exhibit at fist meeting automatically describes his true character.

Is this notion particularly true? does it apply in all circumstances? I beg to differ a bit.
This is because first impressions could be affected by factors such as mood, misinformation/misconceptions, misinterpretations, etc. For example, one day, I was going on a visit to my aunt's house in Lagos with the address on paper and when I arrived her area, I got confused regarding the particular house, so I decided to ask questions; I then approached a young man with my question and his hostile response almost freaked me out. Of course at that instant, I concluded that the young man was a hostile fellow. Without wasting time, I asked someone else, who responded very calmly and it happened that the initial young man I met was staying in the same compound with my aunt. I narrated the incident to my aunt and while she was shocked at my story, she told me that on the contrary, that young man was one of the nicest fellows she had ever met. I bluntly refused to believe her testament but as days rolled into weeks, I noticed that this young man was indeed, a warm gentleman, and also a human being with weaknesses like all of us. A few days after I came, he had called me to apologise profusely about his action on that day, attributing it to a negative experience he had from his fiancee earlier that day. From then, we have been best of friends even till this day...

This first impression thingy goes beyond negative attributes, it also applies to positive ones. For example, just because the first time you met a guy, he took you to a Chinese Restaurant does not mean that he will always do that...Ladies, Ladies, I'm sure we are familiar with examples like this; a lot of times, the Chinese treat never goes beyond the first date; from Chinese on the first date, it could diminish to 'home treat' on the second date and no treat at all subsequently. This could be as a result of economic factors on the part of the guy or maybe he doesn't want to spoil you with treats or maybe he isn't just as generous as he seemed the first time. Please note: First dates can be very deceptive because we are usually under enormous pressure to impress our dates and vice versa.

So, before you make a conclusion based on your first meeting with someone, I suggest you leave room for shockers by getting to meet the person again over a period of time; your preconceptions might just change. I have realized also that a lot of times, people who start-off as 'enemies' often turn out to be best of friends. So before you put a tag on him/her, wear a time-piece. Cheers!!!

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