Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Three Magical a Fourth

When something is said to be magical, it means that it has the capability of turning situations around very swiftly. In almost every aspect of human inter-relations, there are three expressions (plus a fourth one) that make or mar situations. Here they are:

  • Please: We often use this when we are begging for a favour. For example: please, can I borrow your pen? etc etc... However, is that the only circumstance that should warrant the use of the word 'please'? Most of us would say 'Yes' but I say 'No'. A lot of us believe that 'please' should only be used when you are at the mercy of someone but truth is, it is a very vital part of courteous behaviour. Let's use a day-to-day example. Imagine you were at a wedding and then you left your seat for a while (probably left your purse on the chair to show you would be back), only to come back and someone had occupied it. At that point, a lot of us (knowing we have a right to the chair) would simply say: 'Hello, you are sitting on my chair and I want to sit down'. Now, this statement could trigger either a reaction of 'oh, sorry! you can have it' or from more daring trouble-makers, it would become an avenue for exchange of words. However, it would have been more appropriate to say: 'Hello, please the chair on which you are seated is mine; I simply stepped out for a while, could you please let me have it?' Now, even the most daring hard-nut would simply be awed by your show of maturity and respect to him/her and would simply hand over the chair to you. Trust me: this usually works, though depending on the particular circumstance and occasion in view. And don't forget: tone of voice also plays a very vital role have to keep it low and calm, but not cracky or timid. When you try to stop a stranger on the road, whether to ask a question or anything, do not say: 'Hello, excuse me'as we often say; make sure you use the word 'please' in-between. 'Please' contains a rare flavour that turns possible anger to cheerfulness and hostility to charity, all in a swift.  
  • Sorry: This is one of the most important virtues of life. It is probably the most magical of the three words in view.  'Sorry' is usually an admittance of wrongdoing and a show of remorse. But often times, we find it difficult to use that word, mostly due to 'Pride' and perhaps the unwillingness to reach a peaceful agreement with the person/persons wronged. The word 'sorry' can turn a death-prone situation to a party; it can turn hatred to instant love; it melts the hearts of warriors, it can avert conflict and foster peace and harmony. However, we do not only need to say sorry when we are wrong; sometimes, for peace to reign, we can decide to take the blame and say 'sorry'. Hmmmm....very difficult, huh? Yes, but very mature too. The word 'sorry' too could also be used when sympathizing with someone over an unfortunate incident. For example: If a friend informs you of a loss of his car, you could say: 'sorry about your loss' or 'sorry to hear about your loss'. Sorry has the capacity to instantly turn fury into laughter and sadness into joy. But I observed that some people are 'sorry' experts, such that they say sorry at every slightest instance. Such people are very good at wrongdoing such that as they are upsetting you, they are telling you 'sorry' almost immediately and they have the tendency to repeat their wrongdoings over and over again. Attitudes like that have caused some people to lack regards for the word; such that for you to show them remorse, you would need words and actions beyond 'sorry'. Let us avoid using the word indiscriminately so that when we say it, we mean it and the other party involved will also know that we mean it!!!
  • Thank you: This sounds simple to say but often very difficult. 'Thank you' is generally used to show appreciation for favours received, for compliments received, for words of advice received, and for other instances where we need to show gratitude. There is a popular saying that when we are thankful for what we have received, we would receive more. This is because 'Thank You' gives a sense of pride and accomplishment to our benefactors and also shows the level of our thoughtfulness, such that they would want to assist us again. It's simply magical, even God requires our Thanksgiving every day and at every time and you will agree with me that Thanksgiving unlocks the doors of breakthrough and provides the answers that we need. Some of us do not like to say 'Thank You' basically because of pride and to some of us, there are certain categories of people who do not require our 'Thank You'. For example: some of us that have housemaids do not like to thank them for the little things they do because we feel they were employed for those; however, let us remember that some of these housemaids could cause havoc when they are unhappy with their need to mention the type of havoc, don't want to sound devious...LOL. But, please, learn to say 'Thank you' when your housemaid serves you water, when your driver takes you to work, when your gardener does a good job, when your hair dresser makes you look exceptional....could save your life someday!!! 'Thank You' is the first debt you remit to your creditors and people who have shown you kindness (no matter how little) or made you happy in any way. It is an obligation. 
The Fourth one as mentioned above is 'I Love You'. We are all familiar with the word 'love' and most of us spend time in pursuit of love, which generates inward happiness and an outward glow. Saying 'I love you' can prevent someone from committing suicide and generally uplift someone from depression and can attract favours or gratification. Sometimes when 'sorry' fails, 'I love you' saves the day (ladies and gentlemen....we can all agree...LOL).  Love is the most important ingredient of life but rather than just saying it, let us show it, beginning from our homes/families, because the family is the bedrock of the society. If we have love in our hearts, we can exhibit it in our families and from there, extend it to our neighbours and the rest of the world. 

Feedback: Share your experiences. If these three magical expressions (plus the fourth) have saved the day for you, tell us the story... Cheers!!!

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